| ✥ perchance to dream | ||
| "What an awesome life!" | ||
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INUKA DOINKZ! Enjoys sports,dance(mainly hiphop) and photography. Dream big!. Live it up! Soar high,touch the sky. I know I'm not perfect,but I hope you like me for who I am. |
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Title: Tied Down. Posted on: Wednesday, June 30, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Just one more paper to go,and 3 projects due very soon. Mathematics left undone till tomorow. Enraptured! My love for it hasn't diminish. Logarithms,algebra. Can't wait! Oh,picture above's a bird I drew yesterday. I needed a break from my Cell Bio notes so I drew. It's been ages since I last drew something decent. Not much practice. It's really just a hobby. I.MUST.GO.FOR.A.RUN. Not going for training for over a week makes me feel awkward.I'm starting to feel lazy all over again. I hate that feeling. All that I have trained for,for the past few months,is going down the drain.or not. HAH! Atleast a run. That's all I need right now. Mind's full of crap! Just want to let it all out. There's no delete button in life. Allowance's in. Shopping soon? Wait.I have to settle ALL the fees first. Silat. MuayThai. Kickboxing. I'll still have atleast half left to spend. Awesome! Big brother's staying over for the weekend. Catching Argentina vs Germany together. We're going to start a war! Can't wait! That's it,man! I have to go back to training mode ASAP!! Inuka. Some people wear their smile like a disguise. Those people who smile a lot, watch their eyes. I know 'cause I'm like that a lot. You think everything's ok, and it is . . . 'till it's not. But c'mon,just smile! |
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Title: Daze. Posted on: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Two papers down!Two more to go. Thursday,a date with the cinema after our paper,can't wait! Friday onwards,I'll be able to let out everything,I think. Training would resume the following week,but atleast I can take my mind off exam mode for awhile,after common tests are over. Bowling,on Friday,with the brothers and buddies. Stunning looks and awesome smile. A memory,never erased. BMW 7 Series in black! Just a while longer. BTW,Happy Birthday Ash By Def. Have a great one bro! Faezzah,take care and get well soon. To whom who is fighting a battle of perseverance and determination. A tough situation which you are caught in between. As a person whom never fails to frown. No matter what situation. I pray and hope for the best, of health and joy. Though there isn't much that i could do. But, my time is always ready for you. In return, i just want a smile from you. The next time i see you. ~read this off someone's blog..to no one in particular. Inuka. Awesome smile. |
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Title: Break. Posted on: Monday, June 28, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Gd morning world! What a great start to the day, with Argentina winning 3-1. Watched the match with great joy that I totally forgot to post the score up when it ended, and just immediately went to shower without realizing it was not even 5am. Yay! Carlos Tevez scored 2 freakin goals! I love you dude,except for the fact that you play for Man United. So,they'll be facing Germany next,in a mouth-watering game I bet! I can't wait. Glad I finished studying for today's paper by yesterday morning,so that I could watch their match earlier this morning. It was worth it,waking up at 2.30am! Oh,did you people watch England's game against Germany? Seriously,it was a total waste of time for the England team. Such complacent team! They deserve to be humiliated by Germany with a 4-1 defeat. Defence was horrible! They should have Rooney taken off at the start of second half,instead of Milner! He was in a better shape than Rooney! Although I have to agree that Lampard's goal in the first half should have been counted,the team still played like crap! SO much for being a Superstar team! Okae. This is what you get when your Dad was a soccer coach. He drills soccer into your head when you were young,and when you get older like now,you start to sound like a coach yourself.Great! Nonetheless,I finally found the reason to smile again. I hope it last though. Argentina for the finals! By the way,all the best to my NYP friends who'll be sitting for common tests this week. Jiayou! The week will go by pretty fast! Inuka. Smiles! |
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Title: Gone. Posted on: Sunday, June 27, 2010 |
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 Never turning back. Things have got to change. 18 in 8 months. 'Sup! Ditch the past. Go with the flow of the present and create the future. I have this urge of punching and kicking. Someone please hold the pads up for me. Wait. Maybe I should do that after common tests are over. Any volunteers? 1 week will go by pretty fast. Dateline getting nearer. Rush Rush Rush. Cliche! Will be gone for the moment. Goodbye,crap! Inuka. Smiled! PS: Photoshoot soon,anyone? You choose the place. Camera's dying to snap more pictures. |
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Title: Word. Posted on: Saturday, June 26, 2010 |
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MALAS! LAZY! TIRED! NO MOOD! BRAIN OVERLOAD! CRASHING! Okae.Somebody please be prepared to catch me. I think I'm going to fall. No,not school. Just life. The one that involves people like them. Then again,it's life! Holding back all those tears,I feel stronger. I feel the energy,but I can't find anymore reason to smile. All those times,it was all a facade. I'm tired of it. I just hope the true one will come by real quick. You know what I regretted most? Leaving you behind. You were the sweetest thing in my life. Even though you didn't have faith,you held on. You understood the situation I was in. You always made my day. You always made me smile. No matter how tired you were,you still took the initiative to pick me up. When we didn't had the chance to meet for several days,you always complain how much you miss me. That's sweet. Honestly,I miss you. I'm so sorry about then. I was confused. Just so you know,I still keep our pictures and your messages. It definitely bring back sweet memories. I was caught between my priorities. My friends had always come first,until he came. I was unsure where I should place him. It was stable for a short period until he started to ask questions and more load were thrown to me. I've learnt that sometimes when you really love that someone or something,you've just got to let go of them so that no more damage is done. Inuka. I tried to smile. |
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Title: Out. Posted on: Friday, June 25, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Today is my bestfriend's birthday. If he was still living,he'll be 21 today. I guess God loves him more than we do. Happy Birthday bro, Muhammad Akid Bin Muhammad Faizal. I miss you. It's been 6 months since you left us all,since you left me. I've been seeing you in my dreams for the past few weeks.Is that a good thing? I miss talking to you and sharing with you all the troubles I have. Even when you don't have the solutions,you'll always make me feel better with a hug. I thought I've found someone to replce you. Damn,was I so wrong! No one can replace you. No one. You'll forever be my bestest friend,my brother,my gurdian angel. You'll forever be in my heart. Yesterday,as I sat at the multi storey carpark staring at the sky,my tears just uncontrollably flowed down my face. Exactly one year ago,we were there together,counting down to midnight so that you can finally blow the candles on the birthday cake I bought you. I still have those photos. I really miss you. Today,this morning,I went to your grave with the rest of the kakis and your family. I wanted to make sure your grave was clean. You should have seen all our faces. We all miss you,Akid! Even Incredible Hulk was shedding tears uncontrollably. Oh,Julie baked you a chocolate cake. I blew the candles on behalf of you,by your grave. There were exactly 21 candles. Each candle symbolises different impacts you've made on us and your family. You know,ever since you left us,I've been keeping everything to myself.I feel really uncomfortable to share with others,even my close friends. Sometimes,I feel like my mind's going to explode! But you should know me. I'd just let it all out during my trainings or just go for runs. I won't just sit there and wait till I go crazy and end up in Hougang Hotel. I'll feel better after wearing myself out,but I'll start missing you even more. Anyway,I'll be having my common tests next week. I hope you'll be by my side for every paper I take. I remembered what you told me last year,on the day before my first 'O' Levels Paper. You said,"I'll pray for the best. Just focus on the paper. I won't be there physically,but do remember that my 'soul' will be by your side." Now that I thought of it,you sounded like you could just send your soul anywhere you wanted,while your body was somewhere else. LOL! Akid,I miss you. I wish I could turn back time and made sure you didn't leave your house at the very moment where you had the bike crash. Then again,I can't play God. I'm not God. Allah Maha Besar. NO matter what,you'll always be in my prayers and in everything I do. You're the fire in my soul and the spirit of my determination. I love you dearly,Muhammad Akid Bin Muhammad Faizal! Inuka. I'll smile specially for you today. |
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Title: Cold. Posted on: Thursday, June 24, 2010 |
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'Sup! Ever regretted? Who hasn't,right? I always wonder if whatever I've done has a reason behind it. I always have crazy thoughts about so many things. I can just stone and start thinking,especially when the sky's scenery is beautifully distracting. I have this unconcious habit of observing people,my environment and the littlest things in life. My mind just generates every sngle detail of stuff,without me knowing. The next thing I know,I can tell people's character and attitude without them telling me. All this is mainly due to the Psycology class my dad made me take up. Anyway,recently I feel like I'm falling deeper and I can't pull myself out of whatever that is pulling me in. I wonder if it's a trap or it's for real. I'm kind of confused. I mean,I'm not prepared for anything serious right now. I don't want to fall deep and can NEVER pull myself out. It'll take a million years till I'm able to get over it. Well,just some crazy feeling right now. So,my fever's been stagnant at 37.9 degree celcius for like 3 days straight,including this morning.Panadol is not helping at all. I feel rather weak. Next week is officailly my break from physical stuff. It'll be the common test week so I'm not going for any training. Mentally,I'm suffocationg with all the school stuff and whatever other problems I have which I don't want anybody to worry about.I got it. I still can handle it all on my own. No worries. Random. I know. So much stuff in my head right now. Just wanted to let it out here. Till here.. Smile,love. I love you people so much. More than you guys know it. I miss the Forever Laughing Clique!! PS: I didn't pick up your calls ever since,is because... Sorry if you think talking/chatting/sms-ing me is such a pain,given the fact that I only reply that much to every of your question. FYI,when the lightning struck,it left a mark which was inerasable. |
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Title: Lost. Posted on: Tuesday, June 22, 2010 |
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'Sup! Okae.I was too busy and too tired to blog yesterday. Anyway,yesterday was a blast,except for the fact that my fever came back. So yesterday I went out from morning till night. Morning was my appointment with the National Library. Yes,I went to study alone. Amazing moment,really. After which I had Silat training. It was like boot camp! Intensive level increased tremendously. That didn't end there. I then had kickboxing,something I didn't want to miss. Given the fact I missed a whole week's training last week,yesterday's session was a priority. Though I was a little tired,I did enjoyed kickboxing's small group session. It was small,no kidding. When I got home,I immediately headed for the showers followed by slacking on my bed with the laptop next to me and spaghetti cabonara in one hand. Fatigue struck,and so did fever! I can't believe my fever is back,together with my ankle injury and shoulder injury. My medication is almost finished and I've yet to recover. Oh,and painkiller is gone! OUCH! Currently,I'm on discipline mode. No chocolates,icecream,sweets,sweet drinks and blahblahblah. Today's diet was basically Fish Porridge and homemade sugarless Barley drink. YUCKS! Then again,I do feel better after such diet. Anyway,I left home for awhile today.I went shopping with my mum. I had to get formal clothes for my Presentation and some press conference thingy that I have to attend. So we went to G2000 and I splurged. WOAH! Well,my mum gave the thumbs up. She helped me pick out a pencil skirt and a blouse. To complete it,she even bought me a jacket. I look like some business women/lawyer/office person.LOL! Oh,and you don't want to know how much I spent. :X Well,till here. Today was just plain boring,besides shopping. Smiles! PS: People,we're screwed for Bio.Seriously.Break a leg! Md Fathul Raiyan,please take care of your leg! You breaking your leg is so not funny! Okae buddy?? Faris,do take care of your shoulder. Nadiah babe,AKU PUN FEVER LAH SEYY!! it's all your fault! hehe.. joking je.. |
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Title: Overload. Posted on: Sunday, June 20, 2010 |
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 'Sup! My brain is officially overloaded! With what you may ask. Well,try having spent 3 hours straight,studying for Human Biology and trying to remember all the weird names they've given for each part of our body. I'm not complaining. Really. It's really interesting having to learn all this things that you never knew was part of you. It's seriuosly cool stuff! Anyway,while my brain's overworked,my stomach was definitely pampered. Breakfast was a big mug of Milo accompanied by 2 sets of Peanut Butter and Jam sandwich. Lunch was awesome. Lunch was Masala Thosai with Masala Chicken,Rasam and accompanied by Teh Ice. I even had to help my little sister finish her Paper Thosai which she only ate 1/4 of it. If you think that was the end of lunch,you're wrong. My brothers and I decided to have dessert,which was Earthquake at Swensens. It was incredible,given the fact that the treat was on Abang Fuad. Then comes dinner. Dad decided that his hands need some workout. He cooked us some Barbequed Butter-Garlic Prawns on skewers. Next up was Triple Cheese Pizza. Homemade! Lastly,he made Humus or easier known as Mashed Chick Peas. It's a Turkish Cuisine. It's pastey where ou have to dip pitta bread in it. It's nice! Yum! People,stop drooling. HEHE! Well,spending time with Big Brother Fuad and Younger Brother Faris was cool. I mean,being the only girl the whole time,this afternoon. Bullied? Yes. Pampered? Most definitely! OH,it's the World Cup season right? I don't exactly have the fever,but I'm kinda getting into it. Those cheering on for teams like England and Germany,sorry to say that the teams are such rip off this time round. Argentina FTW! Not to forget,Australia was such a let down too. Red carded? Two games? Cahill and Kewell. Nice. By the way,I went to collect my YOG Volunteer uniforms earlier this afternoon. All sponsored by Crocodile. Pretty comfy. Purple polo with changeable cargo pants. Not to forget or accredation pass and complimentary Limited Edition Visa Debit Card. Cool stuff. Up next would be my YOG torchbearer uniform which I'll get this end of July. Excited much! But mind has to be set for Common Tests first and all the other tests and projects due before YOG. Till here.. Smile world! |
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Title: PSK 2010 Posted on: Saturday, June 19, 2010 |
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'Sup! I can't find a suitable picture for my post.HEHE! Anyway,today is the start of Pencak Silat Kebangsaan (PSK) 2010 at Jurong East Sports Hall. I just want to wish all the Perguruan all the best,especially for my Perguruan Grasio. Go,Fight,Win!! One for all,all for one,Grasio number 1! Seni people,today's your time to shine! We have to hold on to our title as champions! Sorry about not being able to be there today. I'm going to JB to celebrate Father's Day and my twin sisters birthday. No matter what,I'l still pray for the best for all athletes. I want to receive good news (sms) !! Well,that's it.. Cheers! Smiley! |
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Title: Under. Posted on: Friday, June 18, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Today wasn't exactly awesome. Having fever sure isn't fun at all! Shivering for no reason. I had photoshoot with the Dudes and Dudettes at Abang Achik's studio (his work place). I had to resist the urge of laying down and just sleep. The theme for the shoot was Igniting Sporting Moments. I had to change into so many outfit. Tiring much! From Silat Uniform,to soccer jersey,to formal attire (like attending some conference) and finally a track suit. 4 hours of posing. The others weren't complaining. Obviously! Who's the sick one here. I had no mood to talk nor chat. Well,overall it was kind of okae since I was helping Abang Achik out with his assignment. So after the shoot,me,Abang Achik,Kak Mira,Shak,Kila and Greg headed for Carousel for dinner. As promised by Abang Achik and Kak mira that they'll take me there when I return from Belgium after the achievement. The dinner totally made me forget that I was even sick. I mean,I ate alot. Like seriuosly alot! I lost count as to how many rounds I took. They were shock to see me having a great appetite despite being sick. Hey,I'm all about the food. I love food! I love to eat! Anyway,I dropped by Suphanahong Gym after dinner. It's been a long time since I trained my Muay Thai there. I miss my coaches,Arm and Nasuan. I've been training at BNM and FightWorks. I'm surprised by their reaction when they saw me just now. We had a group hug. I miss the guys who never fail to irritate me during training. I miss them so much! Well,till here. Fever,please please please GO AWAY! Smile - Facade. |
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Title: Point Blank. Posted on: Thursday, June 17, 2010 |
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'Sup! OHMYGOD!! I've been selected to be torchbearer for YOG,but I'm not sure whether to accept this one in a life time offer. YOG volunteer (result runner) and YOG torchbearer. WOAH! Very overwhelming! You'll find that your life is still worth while if you just smile. Forget the sorrows! Tanpa cintamu aku resah. Tanpa kasihmu aku hampa. Tanpa dirimu aku mati. Emotional confusion much! Random blabbers all over again.Thanks to camp people for bringing the joy,laughter and fun! The smile is never gonna be erased from my face. And thanks to some few who had made me smile even more,either intentionally or unintentionally. I needed it. I'm glad I have you people in my life and constantly adding colour to my life. I guess,my Mr Fantastic is busy saving someone else. Well,it's okae. There's always Justice League. Smile! |
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Title: Deep Within.. Posted on: |
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'Sup! I just got back from SCL Recruitment Drive Camp. No,actually it was yesterday but I was too shagged to blog. Anyway,I was there for 3 days and 2 nights. And yes,it was the day after I got back from my fight. I can't deny that I was tired and had jetlag,but I was looking forward to the camp since like I don't know when. So,first day of camp was totally an amazing experience. Apart from making new friends,the wet games were awesome! The best game has got to be Grab Those Flags,which my team won. Oh,there were many spectators watching us,especially the part where I ran from one end of the playing area to the other end and back while our opponents throwed bags of water. FYI,the whole idea of it was to collect as much flags as possible within the time frame while your opponents threw bags of water to kick you out of the game. My team was the BOMB! None of us got hit,especially me and desmond who were the ones running around alot. You should have seen it. No matter how good they aimed at me,they just miss me. I ran superbly for the game. But the bad thing was,I got a huge blister and a sprained ankle for it. It hurts! The night trail was abit lame though. The only fun part was where they showered us with a pail of water,while we were blind folded. FYI,we were drenched at 12 midnight. I suppose most of us caught some flu and a slight fever. Second day was tiring. Amazing race around Ang Mo Kio without transport provided is so not cool. Imagine having to run/walk all the way to the playground next to MacDonalds at AMK for a game session and running back to NYP for another game. The stations were spread out a little too far. We were so unprepared! Then again,challenges are fun! It was rather challengeing for me,given the fact that I had a sprained ankle and a big blister,all on one foot.My team managed to complete 8 out of 9 stations! OH,not to forget NYP STOMP session with Dzul leading us to some awesome beats. Heating pails,chairs and tins.We made music! Third day was really slack.Nothing as fun as the first two days. Well,that explains how tired I was,doesn't it?I have to give this week's KIckboxing training a miss. Monday's session - because of camp and I was injured. Thursday's (today) session - My injury hasn't recovered and I have fever!! I don't like this! I want to go for training! :( I shall watch Glee online then. :\ Till here. You made me smile alot lately. It was all you. |
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Title: Overwhelming. Posted on: Sunday, June 13, 2010 |
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 Catching up on my sleep.. Final practice! Golok part.. Tangan kosong.. Outside the Convention Hall (where we had to hide from the security just to take pictures.) In the hotel room,before leaving. 'Sup! The pictures above were taken outside the Convention Hall during the whole event. FYI,we had to hide from the security just so we could take pictures,even with our camera phone. Anyway,the whole event lasted for about 6 hours. You could say that it all went well,given the fact that we all brought home atleast a medal/trophy. The funny thing about this competition was that athletes who won first,second or third for the Olahraga category were given trophies while winners of the Seni categories were given medals. They couldn't compromise! Seni.An expected outcome.Silver again.Lost to the same person! Gahh!! I lost by 1 point!! Well,atleast that's an improvement. The last time,I lost by 12 points. Smiled. Well,I felt that it wasn't one of my best fights ever! I mean,it's the first time that I got penalised aka 'Tembak'. Then again,it was my fault. I kicked a little too high,twice in a row! Overall,I still won with a score of 3-2. Not to forget,I teared during my match 'cause I was trying hard to endure the pain to my shoulder and shin. My opponent kept kicking my shoulder (round kick) in the first round,but lucky for me I was wearing my shoulder guard and my shoulders were in better shape than the previous weeks. Then the shins? Well,our shins collided twice,with so much force, that my opponent actually screamed while I just tried to stay cool. HAHAHA! But it truly hurts! I was limping after the match. Tried to smile. So,we sort of had to rush back to Singapore. The boys are scheduled to go to Batam for friendlies. Besides,the weather there was horrible. We were falling sick. So we managed to catch the earliest flight possible to Singapore Via Istanbul. It was really tiring. I'm having jet lag!! Well,that was it. Thanks to all that had smsed me before I left. Thanks for the support and prayers. Really appreciate them. To my teammates,rest well guys. WE.NEED.TO.SLEEP. remember? LOL! Will be going for a 3 days 2 night SCL camp,starting tomorow. And,no,i'm not crazy! :D Till here.. Love you people! Loads of smile. PS: Sorry bout the allignment of this post. Lazy to edit. |
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Title: I found peace! Posted on: Friday, June 11, 2010 |
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 'Sup!Woah! This morning I woke up with a swollen plus bruised knuckle. The funny thing was,it didn't really hurt. No worries people. It's perfectly okay,to the extent that I can still use it for my fight tomorow! Speaking of which,I'll be flying off soon! Worried nuts! I may have found peace,mentally,but I can't help having this intense feeling. I don't know. Well,I'm just going to give my best. Like someone said to me,Play smart and Fight smart. Oh,after watching The Karate Kid earlier today,I became so motivated. All of a sudden,after the movie,I became so anxious for my fight. Thanks Jaden Smith. Afnan said: Fighter Kenet!! Small,but powerful! Not to forget,I saw many of my friends who were injured too,today. To Shirley who has a sprained wrist,to Fendi who's fractured arm hasn't recovered,to Ben who has a sprained ankle,and to Dzul who has a badly sprained ankle and was limping badly in school: Take care people! Rest those injured area. For the sprained ankle,please TRY not to walk too much. Just sit home and relax. If not,it'll definitely take a longer time to recover. As for me,I'm just going to pray hard that my knuckle would be able to last me 2 minutes 3o seconds for 3 rounds,my ligament wouldn't act up and my shoulders wouldn't cause any problem. So far,recovering has been rather smooth. Hope to bring something back from the match, and also chocolates specially for Hidayah and my other friends too ofcourse! Adios people. Trust me,I'll still be smiling even if I were to lose. And I'll have fun. Well,atleast I hope I will. Wish me luck people! Oh,I can't wait for SCL camp when I get back! PS: OMG!! I can't believe I'll miss World Cup opening ceremony! GAH!! Anyway,I wanna dedicate the theme song Waka Waka to my teammates. Cool song! And the lyric is really meaningful! |
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Title: Better. Posted on: |
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 'Sup!I feel so much better now, after let thing it out. Kudos to Faris for holding the pads for me even though he just finished sparring and had to run down to the club room to take the attendance sheet. Sorry,and thank you again! As usual, kickboxing was the highlight of the day. I had alot on my mind, including my fight on Saturday. Training totally took my mind off things, especially padding play with Faris. Not to forget, my knuckles sort of bleed. It hurts a little, but it felt really good. This is what you get for not wearing hand wraps. Mistake learnt! Am I prepared? Mentally, I'm not exactly focused. My mind is fixed on all the assignments due tomorow (today), just because next week is already the start of our 2 weeks break. Datelines or simply deadlines? I just hope the fight will run smoothly. After today's padding play with Faris, I think,let me repeat that, I think I'm physically prepared! All I need now is focus! It's about 24hrs till I'll fly off. Worried! Put that aside. I'm so going to enjoy first before I leave. I've got my Friday evening all planned out. Movies after school ( THE KARATE KID!!) with my crazy bunch of friends, followed by a short stop at Ikea's BBQ before heading home and finally fly off! 12.05 am flight... I'll definitely doze off. Worst flight timing ever! Well,till here then.. I smiled so hard,it looked like a capital 'U'. Smile! PS: Can't take Videos nor Pictures for fight. Sadded! Dumb rule implemented! Guess,we'll just have to wait for the CD and photo album that they're going to send soon after. So strict! :/ |
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Title: The Pain We Hide. Posted on: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 |
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 'Sup! I've always dreamt of having super powers,super strength and just plain being super! Who hasn't,right? Then again,after looking back at what God has given me,I've learnt to appreciate the powers I have right now - the power to think,feel and touch. I bet some super heroes lack some of these points. I mean,no one can have everything,right? No one has any right to 'capture' someone and keep it all to themselves. If I was Ash or Gary,I'd use my Ultra ball to capture the one I've been longing for. Like that will happen! What right do I have?Nostalgic Pokemon days. Anyway,who says being patient is such a tough job. It's easy! Desperation just leads to heartache. Sorry,but this goes out to someone. I've officially gone bonkers! Too many random thoughts lately. Oh,final countdown? I wonder. Less than 24hr to the release of The Karate Kid. 3 days to my fight. Mind's going off focus again. What is wrong with me? I'm asking myself the same thing too. It can't be school. I've got it all under control. I suppose it's just the thoughts that I can't seem to be able to let out,given the fact that I'm keeping it all to myself. Plaster a smile. A very good idea indeed! Smile,and the strength to pull through. |
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Title: Where's my Mr Fantastic? Posted on: Tuesday, June 8, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Random rambles and random thoughts. There's just so many thoughts lingering in my mind. At some point,there's just no one there for me to blurt certain things out so as to ease my mind. Crazy as it is,no matter how many friends I have,not just anyone can be the right one to hear me out. Searching for my Mr Fantastic,maybe? I wonder if it's him,the one that's just an arm away. The one who's right infront of me. Blinded subconciously. Nothing beats eating icecream on a cold day,and staring blankly into space then laugh when a memory flashed by. Such nostalgic moment. Even the littlest thing brings back memories. Definite peace! I smile,no frowns. Negativity balanced fully with positivity. Datelines or simply deadlines? Nothing good always come out of us whenever we dread. I know. I've learnt. It's all obstacles in life. Just over come it. Stay determined. Stay focus. Trust me,life's got so much more to offer than this. Just keep your chins up,look ahead and focus. Words like that not only relate to sports and athlete. In life,it's way more challenging (physically and mentally). We'll pull it through. If not now,then later. Everyone will have their time to shine. It's just a matter of patience and hard work. Keeping a low profile. Stay humble.It's easy to get caught up in displaying to the world how special you are. But the world is a rough place, and it is full of people who are looking to profit at someone else's expense. There are others out there who are way better than I am. I just have experience. I am taking full advantage of this fact to share with others the skills I've learnt. In this area,there's just no where to be selfish. At the same time,there's self-improvement along the way. Well,that's just life from the way I see it. It keeps you smiling. That's important! Till here.. I smile,no frowns. You should too.
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Title: Cold,rainy night and I'm alone. Posted on: Monday, June 7, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Okae.It's a cold,rainy night. I sort of just got home from Kickboxing,or maybe an hour ago. Something is seriously wrong with my stomach lately. I've been craving for so many things. I've been eating alot lately too. 1 serving is never enough for me. Even after eating rice,I could still eat sandwiches,more rice and 2 packet of chips. It's kind of normal for me,but ever since I started school,I expected my diet to be lesser than usual. I mean,school schedule is rather hectic and sometimes there is just no time for any meal! Anyway,kickboxing was fun today. We had more time to do padding play. That's what I call 'Power training',or more like what my coach calls it. It was nice to be able to focus on your technique and power during small group training. I can safely say that I'm all prepared for Saturday's fight over at Belgium. Three days there,just for a few fight and we'll be back. The weather there is kind of against us staying longer. Nonetheless,it's not that bad. I've been there quite a few times already and there's nothing much to look forward to besides the fight. The mind's all focused on the win! By the way,I want to watch The Karate Kid before my flight. I'm still looking for someone or a group of friends to accompany me. Anyone interested? I'm planning to go on friday,after school. 3 more days to it's release!! :\ Well,till here.. Smile people,smile! PS: Today wasn't exactly an awesome day. Something was missing. I wonder what. |
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Title: Apology. Posted on: |
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 I never meant for all this to happen between us both and them. I know I have to bear all the consequences. I just thought that maybe this is the best solution - for us to stay as friends or for us to pretend that we've never met. I know I've told you that I could open up to you,but it didn't mean that I was starting to fall for you nor was I trying to complement your feelings towards me. Please don't take it as a rejection and just get over it. I'm trying hard to pretend that all that never happened and maybe,just maybe,we could act normally infront each other and everyone. I don't know,maybe I owe you an apology because I felt like I didn't give you a reason why I can't.Maybe I felt that reasons such as "You're not my type" and "I don't feel the same" are ridiculous and will,somehow,hurt you. Honestly,after the incident,I wished we never met. Sorry. |
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Title: Together. Posted on: Sunday, June 6, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Okae. Firstly,I'd like to congratulate the NYP Silat Team on their great success and wonderful achievement in this year's TSC. I really think they deserved it. Even though I wasn't part of the team and being there with the team during the competition days,I was constantly praying for the best. Alhamdullilah,I kept getting good news from friends who are in the team. The greatest news was 'NYP Silat Team wins Overall Champion in TSC 2010!'. Congrats guys.You guys deserve it so much!Next up would be PSK! So much pressure is on the Grasio team right now. All the best! Anyway,today I did dropby PERSISI to cheer for some of friends who were fighting today. I didn't stay there long as I had plans with one of my Ding Dong. I managed to round the competition venue twice just to 'salam' most of my club mates. I even made one of them to text me regularly to give updates on those fights I missed. So,I left after zohor for Clarke Quay. The weather was really draining my energy level. I finished 3 bottles of mineral water within 1 hour! I really hope tomorow's weather won't be as bad. So,tomorow is the first day of the last week before Study Break starts. I'm planning to go for Kickboxing training with Nabilah tomorow. I mean,my fight is coming up real soon and I should really train regularly so that my fitness level is tiptop! Injuries aside for now 'cause,greatfully,it's recovering pretty well.Ligament hasn't been acting up on me and shoulder's been doing fine with all the pressure.I know I've got to slow down a little for them,but I've got my rest days all planned out so that I don't overwork them.It's time to focus! By the way,I've been spending quite alot of time with my Big Bro Fuad lately. It's been a long time since we went out together and just chill. Just today, we went shopping at Marina Square,after I met my Ding Dong. I had an awesome time with him. I'm really going to miss him when he migrates,that is if he actually make the final decision to do so. Oh,I was able to talk to him too. I mean,like a heart to heart talk about my life and his life.He gave me so much advice that I'll defiitely keep with me. He even shared his views on guys I should have as a boyfriend and those who I shouldn't. Although it was rather awkward,I find it meaningful. Well,till here. Smile always! |
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Title: Remarkable. Posted on: Saturday, June 5, 2010 |
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So,today's YOG training was quite interesting and wasn't at all boring.I made quite a few friends. I'm not exactly sure where I'll be posted as there are quite a few changes. For now,I'm currently based at Marina Bay Sand,the main media centre. I love all the staffs and managers already,after meeting them today. They are such enthusiastic people,and funny too! I can't wait to start! Anyway,I didn't exactly spend much time at PERSISI today. I went there,met some of my friends,avoided my Grandmaster,cheered for some friends,camwhored and finally left around 7. I miss the competitive environment during the 3rd InterGrasio,when my dear Abang Zali was our instructor and we became champions. That feeling was great! I was groomed to perfect every seni move and make my body a source of destruction in the fighting arena. Those days are over,but I'd like to thank him for grooming me to the person I am today. Today,I can proudly present myself as an all-rounder,like he was,that could fight and do seni pretty well. Now,I'd just like to widen my knowledge in the different martial arts. Actually,that's one reason why I take up quite a few activities apart from Silat. Muay Thai became part of my passion and love since my GodBrother introduce it to me.It was a fighting style I found really amazing and it totally impressed me. From that,I was attracted to Bei Quan Dao & Kickboxing at my school,during Club Crawl. We not only learn kickboxing,but many other martial arts which I never knew existed. The best part of it all is making new friends and loving them even more each day and each training session attended. Alrights..Till here..Smilez! PS: Diploma in Pharmaceutical Sciences (COMMON TEST OI!!) CL1805 Physical & Inorg Chemistry 28-Jun-10 Mon 9:00am to 10:00am CL1804 Human Biology 29-Jun-10 Tue 9:00am to 10:00am CL1803 Cell Biology 30-Jun-10 Wed 9:00am to 10:00am CL1802 Maths for Life Sciences 1-Jul-10 Thu 9:00am to 10:00am |
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Title: When hunger and craving strikes! Posted on: Friday, June 4, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Okae.The above picture was my lunch. It was an upsized McChicken Meal and Hot Fudge Sundae. I was craving for icecream since yesterday. The meal totally filled my tummy to the brim,but it was awesome! Then again,it couldn't beat last night's chain of food I had eaten. After kickboxing yesterday,I bought medium iced milo. It was accompanied by Big Mac and Large fries. When I got home,I was hungry again,so I decided to cook myself Tom Yum Noodle. When that was done,I became restless while playing UNO online. I searched the kitchen for some snacks and found a packet of Chipsmore. I finished the whole packet within 15 minutes! I can conclude that when I'm sort of sick,I tend to eat alot! Okae,wait,I eat quite alot even when I'm not sick. So why am I not growing fat? Blame my metabolism rate! Anyway,this week has been great. So much laughing,as usual. Happiness! The week seemed to go by real quick,but I have to admit that I'm a little tired. maybe due to the lack of sleep. Since today Human Bio tutorial and practical was cancelled,we could all go home early. I immediately took the opportunity to catch up on my rest time. Furthermore,today's training was cancelled. I had a nice nap! Tomorow I'll be having YOG volunteer training at RJC from 10am to 1pm. Maybe after that I'll dropby PERSISI to cheer some of friends on for their fight. I mustn't forget Silat training at 5pm too. Intensive training with the youths. By the way,I realise that I've been having this urge to have someone to talk to. I don't know,but there's thing lingering in my mind and I just want to vent it out.I haven't been able to find the right person yet. It's not exactly a major problem. Atleast I'm still able to hold on and not explode. And not to forget,I'm still able to smile. Aites.. Till here.. I'll never forget the smile. PS:Karate Kid is coming soon! Can't wait! Should I go watch it with kickboxing mates? or Silat mates? or MuayThai mates? Too bad I don't have karate mates. :D |
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Title: POWER! Posted on: Thursday, June 3, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Okae. I did smile today,even though it was an incredibly long day! As usual,it's a thursday so school started at 8. I was surprised that i was awake throughout the Cell Bio lecture. IPS? It was hilarious! I don't mean the lecture. I meant the lecturer. Oh,and today's maths test? Blardy confusing but i managed to complete it with correct answers,i think. I got an 'A' for last weeks math test!! 29 over 30!! YAY!! Good achievement! Thumbs up! The highlight of my thursdays. KICKBOXING! It was quite okae. I had a fun time with the girls. Oh,there were like 5 new girls who joined us today. Faris,obviously,had a nice time teaching them. Sorry boss! :D I heard from him that 3 of them were from Nepal,if I'm not wrong lah. My shoulders didn't hurt as much as before. Obviously,it's recovering,but it definitely won't recover fully 'cause I'm too stubborn to actually sit at home and rest. I get restless too easily. Furthermore,my fight is coming up soon and I'll definitely get injured again. I just hope it has got nothing to do with my shoulder. Worst come to worst is just some leg injury. I hope!! By the way, to all my peeps who are injured and sick,including me! Guys,take good care of yourselves. Drink lots of water. Rest as much as you can,even if it means just one day! The weather haven't been kind lately and the stubborn symptom is spreading. Hope you guys will keep smiling no matter what! To Faris,take care of your foot and thigh. Hope it recovers soon so you'll be able to climb stairs again. :D To my fight mates,hope you guys will recover soon enough for our fight.it's nearing guys! Start bringing down the swells from pre competition training! And finally,note to self: start building confidence for the competition. get shoulder and leg prepared for fight.keep the smile! Till here..Smilez!
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Title: I suddenly feel like breaking down. Posted on: Wednesday, June 2, 2010 |
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 'Sup! Okae.I suddenly feel like I need a hug right now. All of a sudden,I feel like there's so much weight on my shoulders. I don't know,maybe I'm thinking too much. Then again,how can I not think about stuff which are affecting me so badly right now. Putting up a facade definitely works,but sooner or later I'll crash!Lets put that aside right now. I don't feel like talking about it. I just want it to go away. Disappear. Vanish. I want to pretend that it never existed,but I can't. Anyway,today was rather boring,especially teamwork & network module. My group managed to keep ourselves awake with jokes sent by Lin Hui. If she hadn't sent them,I'm sure I'll be asleep throughout the lecture. Seriously,the lecture was of no use to us. We totally wasted our time. So after the lecture,we had our lunch followed by lepak cum studying session. I can't believe that I actually spent the time studying for tomorow's math test. I wasn't at all distracted! Thumbs up to that! After school,I didn't had plans.I immediately left for home.Furthermore,I had a slight fever and an iritating flu.So popped some pills and I was off for a short nap. When I woke up an hour later,I felt even more sick. I guess this is the cause of lack of sleep. I hope I'll be fit enough to go for kickboxing tomorow. By the way,I had this sudden crave for chocolates during maths lecture today. Chipsmore,Ferrero Rocher Dark Chocolate,Kinder Bueno and Chocolate Milkshake! I kept thinking about it during the lecture and totally didn't pay attention to the lecturer. and yes,I did grab a box of ferrero rocher,3 packets of kinder bueno and a cup of mcdonald's chocolate milkshake. At that moment,I didn't even care about the fever and sore throat I was having. It was pure indulgence! Chocolate craze!! Alrights then.. Till here.. Smiles! PS: Thank God I feel better now,but not fully okae. |
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Title: Exhausted. Posted on: Tuesday, June 1, 2010 |
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 'Sup!Okae. Yesterday I did go for kickboxing training. I totally ditched my other trainings. Monday's session was rather small as compared to Thursday's. I went with Nabilah by the way. The session yesterday was considered boring,but atleast it allowed us to pick up on our skills. The guy,which I forgot his name, that took the Juniors (us) told us to set goals that we want to achieve in each training. For now,my only goal is to improve my left leg's power. I can't exactly do that during Silat 'cause we usually train the side we're most comfortable with and make it our best weapon of destruction. So,I did injure myself yesterday despite the light training session we had. I hurt my left shoulder , which had dislocated once, while doing PT. I could endure it,like I always do,but at the end of it I'll get a rather swollen shoulder followed by numbness. It's nothing new. My shoulder joints are still recovering and is not in exact fitting position. It needs lots of movement before it can finally get back to normal condition. It may sound painful,but it's just the process of getting it back to original position and condition. Before I forget,I'd like to thank Faris for his concern. I really appreciate it. Then again,don't worry too much. Lets just pray for your foot and my shoulder to recover as soon as possible. By the way,I was shocked when Sifu approached me,telling me about the Thailand trip which he had planned for the seniors. Yup,the seniors! I'm a junior and he asked if I was interested to join them. Obviously it caught the other junior's attention and they eavesdropped our conversation. Sifu went on to tell me stories about the Thai trainer which we were going to meet at Thailand. I bet the other juniors must be wondering why Sifu only approached me. I shall continue to keep my reputation a low profile among the other juniors. Anyway,I think I'll be going,but I want to know who's going first. I think I'll feel weird if I were to go with a bunch of people I don't know. WEIRD! Anyway,my shoulder was still swelling today,but wasn't as bad as yesterday. It did hurt when I carried my backpack,but it kept coming and going. So,today was a pretty short day with only 2 lectures. I was supposed to go to the gym after school but something cropped up. I had to accompany Abang Fuad to fetch Abang Shahrul from Changi Prison. Being the closest niece to him, he wanted me to be there when he came out. Apart from his crappy lifestyle with his friends,he is a really nice uncle who actually could give advice and be there to make you smile. I did miss him through out the 5 years that he was imprisoned. Well,I'm pretty exhausted right now. I've been sleeping rather late lately. For example,yesterday after kickboxing,despite the fact that I was tired,I didn't turn in early. Instead,I played games such as Command and Conquer and L4D2,which resulted to sleeping only at 3am. I'm sure you'd be surprised to hear that I actually play such games. Don't be. I only play them whenever I'm bored or have no other alternative source of entertainment. Actually,it's been so long since I last played it. To be exact,the last time I played it was May last year. I'm not really into gaming. It's just for fun and to kill time. Alrights then.. Until here.. I want to take a short nap.. Remember to keep on smiling! PS: I have YOG training this Saturday! YAY! |
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