| ✥ perchance to dream | ||
| "What an awesome life!" | ||
|
INUKA DOINKZ! Enjoys sports,dance(mainly hiphop) and photography. Dream big!. Live it up! Soar high,touch the sky. I know I'm not perfect,but I hope you like me for who I am. |
|
|
Title: Lust. Posted on: Wednesday, December 29, 2010 |
||
|
M.I.A.
|
||
|
Title: Tick. Posted on: |
||
|
Koyak geng! I need to catch up on my sleep! I.IS.TIRED.! Short naps in the afternoon is totally not working out. The problem now is that I may be very tired but I just can't seem to shut my eyes. It's seriously getting on my nerves! 2-3hours of sleep per day. How wonderful,right? Zombie-looking face. Half-dead brain. Fcuking lazy body. I don't need this right now. Projects piling and datelines drawing closer. What I need right now is a nice warm hug,a warm glass of hot chocolate while I accelerate at full speed to complete whatever that's left undone at the moment. We're going to have many head-banging episodes for the next few days. I.WANT.TO.PRESS.THE.PAUSE.BUTTON.! |
||
|
Title: Fire. Posted on: Tuesday, December 28, 2010 |
||
|
Totally unexpected. I actually forgot about my dream. How wonderful! I didn't know how to react,really. I'm really sorry. A million apologies. I wish I could have expressed to you how I felt at that moment,but I can't. I was at loss of words. But above all,thanks for today. No matter what,you still made me smile.
|
||
|
Title: Akid. Posted on: Monday, December 27, 2010 |
||
|
Muhd Akid. Da one year,bro! I'm missing you so much! There's that hole in my heart that hasn't been filled yet. Tomorrow,I promise you,I'm going to visit you or in this case your grave. I'll clean it up for you and say afew prayers,hoping it'll make you smile over there. I just want you to know that I'm doing better now,but never perfect. I went over to your place earlier today,just so you know. Your mum was very welcoming,as usual. We exchanged memorable stories of you. We laughed and tried so hard to hold back our tears. She still keep your things,you know. Ok. Tomorrow. Visit Muhd Akid's grave. Meet up with Wanie,Nazurah,Shakirah,Didi(maybe) and not to forget MATAHARI too. Lunch and God knows what we're going to do next. New Year in 3 days. How wonderful! |
||
|
Title: Spree. Posted on: |
||
|
Bombs away!! Ok, I decided not to remove my previous post because somehow it helped me let go of some burden. Butbut,I feel rather pathetic sometimes,knowing I live in fear over some matters. Getting over it will never be easy,like how some people attempt to get over their fear of heights. Even the silliest thing can be of great matter to us sometimes. Lets look back at all the productive activities I've done. Besides work,I did absolutely nothing! Awesome! Projects piling. Dates overwhelming. Can I just shoot myself in the head right now? URGH! Is this life at it's best or life at it's worst? I'm confuse. They say life is full of ups and downs,like a rollercoaster ride. Disadvantages. Advantages. Crazy ideas. Whacky decisions. I am living my life alright! I feel like punching myself in the face,sometimes. Every other time I just smile like an idiot,hoping things would turn out nicely for me. Woah! What a demand. Btw,any kid out there needs tuition for Mathematics,English or Science? I can do tuitions. Primary school only lah. HEHE! $70-$80 per subject. Eh,I'm hungry. |
||
|
Title: Drop. Posted on: Sunday, December 26, 2010 |
||
|
Ok. So I just had to let it out. I think. Maybe I'll remove this post after a day. Ah,I don't know lah! In my dream,I saw you,me and many others. I don't seem to recognise those people,probably strangers or just some crowd. I couldn't tell where we were,but one thing was very clear. We were very close,and I don't mean bond. I still remember. You had your arms around me.I wasn't sure if I was pleased with it. I was rather scared but felt comfortable. Then, we ran into/met our friends and they were giving the "shocked" look while my face was blank. It wasn't that vivid. I had the dream thrice already. Worried,I must say. Right now. There's this huge problem. I'm scared. I've never felt like this before. I think I've lost my guts. There are many things I want to tell you,but it just won't come out of my mouth. Sometimes I feel rather helpless,'cause I felt it was for the best. I don't know. Let us all meet up first,and we'll see what happens. There are many things still left unsaid. I'm scared, actually. Not of what you might want to say, but what others would think. I know they mean well, that's why we're all friends. But above all, I'm afraid to lose you again. I'd rather lose to you than lose you. Scared. Sound pathetic huh? Oh well. That's just how I feel right now. |
||
|
Title: Hey boy! Posted on: Saturday, December 25, 2010 |
||
|
Merry Christmas to all!! I had a blast yesterday,eve of Christmas. I spent half the day in bed,trying to catch up on my sleep and trying hard to make the jet lag go away(wth?). Then met up with MATAHARI at 4. It was actually at 430 lah 'cause he was late. We hung out at VIVO for the rest for the day.Chatted alot,fooled around and snapped some pictures. The view was awesome,as usual.It's one of my favourite spot to chill. We managed to catch a fireworks display from afar. It was coming from USS. After spending a very nice time with him,I went over to a friend's house for a Christmas Party which lasted all through the night. The food were great. I lost count on how many servings I had. :D It was one hell of a party! One thing I shall not forget is the one minute of silence we had,to remember our dear departed,Muhd Akid. tears were streaming down my face. I tried to hold back but it just kept flowwing. I miss him! I left roughly around 2am since I had to work that very same morning. Anyways,I suppose this year,New Years Eve,I'm going to stay home. Maybe I'll join my friends at a party. I don't know. I haven't exactly decided. Thanks for spending time with me,yesterday. You asked me if I felt awkward,right? Well,at that moment it did feel quite awkward but it was bearable. I was quite comfortable with it too,you know. I had a really nice time talking to you. Thanks again. :D |
||
|
Title: Fred. Posted on: Friday, December 24, 2010 |
||
|
Ok. I'm back! This morning around 2.30++,I think. Jet lag or what! But atleast I managed to catch some sleep and I feel way better than when I arrived. Once in a life time means there's no second chance,right? Does it also mean that we have to grab it while we can? Ah,I don't no! You know,I believe we have to cherish what we have before it's gone. Honestly,this sound so cliche,but I've learnt what it really means. There's more to spending time with our love ones. It creates a greater bond than what we thought it would. Once they leave you behind or vise versa,you'll start to realise how much you were attached to that person and how much that person has affected your life,be it good or bad. Afterall,they left a huge mark on you. It's like they planted their flags in your heart. No matter how much you think you hate that person,he/she has already made changes to your life and it's unchangeable. I'm going back to sleep. Meeting MATAHARI at 3 later,that is if he's not late lah.hehe |
||
|
Title: Cold! Posted on: Wednesday, December 22, 2010 |
||
|
Time check: 12.56pm. Lunch time over here,but it's definitely supper over at Singapore. Times Square New York. Pizza. Starbucks. Non-stop music. Ah,city life! I miss home already. I miss you. I miss the Sun and heat more. The weather here is giving the chills. Adapting to the change of climate at a really slow rate. I met this girl at a Pizzeria about an hour ago. She asked if I was an international student studying there. International,yes. Student there,no. She was very friendly. Asian too,I think. We chatted abit. Well,her name was Sarah(cliche). She's 17 turning 18(like me). She's studying in NY(duh!!) and have been living in NY since she was 4. She asked if I had a boyfriend,and I just smiled. Then we went to take on the Roller Coaster together and I kinda lost track of my where my family was(oops!). Funny how I felt quite comfortable chatting with a complete stranger at that moment. We chatted as if we knew each other for long. The she asked again,"do you fancy anyone from your home town?" And I kept wondering why she kept asking that sort of question. I just smiled away. Hope to see her around for the next few days that I'll be here. Ok,I get it. I get how you felt. Like Sarah said,"You wouldn't realise your flaws until you mirror yourself.You wouldn't know how much a person hurt until you feel it too." How can a person I just met made so much sense? I think she just knocked some more sense into my head! I shall refrain from saying 'Nothing' or atleast I'll try. See you when I get back! I miss you lah! hehe :D PS: It's extremely convenient to get Internet access here. Try Singapore. You won't get as much convenience there. |
||
|
Title: Landed! Posted on: Tuesday, December 21, 2010 |
||
|
We have touch down! Manhattan,New York for 4 days. Winter season here is awesome! It's 12.15am over here btw. I can't sleep since it's suppose to be around 1pm in Singapore. Enjoying the night life here. I'll be back by Christmas morning! Take care,and sorry for not informing about my departure. I'll text you when I'm back or if you see me online,just nudge me. Wifi service here is great! :D Ah,firstly,I'd dearly like to apologise for not informing a handful of people about my departure. "Abe ade hp buat pe?" It was such a last minute change of decision. I was suppose to go to Australia next week,after Christmas,but there was a big change. We decided to head up to New York instead,and left yesterday. We reached New York roughly 20hrs later. Long journey or what! No plans to stay here for Christmas since dad had already plan for a Christmas dinner on Saturday with grandma and the other relatives.We should reach Singapore around 3am on Friday. When I get back,I wanna go catch a movie. Maybe buy a pint of B&J icecream and have them at VIVO as we watch the awesome view. Maybe if you'd like,we can go. Maybe we can have a nice conversation there. Maybe. Oh,when I was on my way to NY,in the skies,I saw how the Sun set and disappeared in the night skies of NY. The sun reminded me of you,but it setting reminded how I didn't inform you of my departure.I'm sorry.I'll miss you for the next 4 days. See you when I get back? |
||
|
Title: Dwell. Posted on: Monday, December 20, 2010 |
||
|
I opened my eyes and realised how it's all coming back to me. One thing I cannot easily give away - trust. All this while,all my trust was given only to this particular person who has long left me for a better place. Ever since then,I've always kept things to myself. My thoughts,my feelings and my dreams. If ever someone asked if I could share with them my thoughts,I would normally seal my lips. Now,the only person I can share my thoughts with is dearest APIZ. Sadly,he's migrating to Australia in a few days time. Does this mean I have to start giving trust to more people? I do believe that trust is a crucial part of a relationship,but it takes a long time to build that trust. I choose to be stubborn because I'm not a fan of disappointment. I'll pick myself up when I fall. I don't exactly expect someone to be there to pick me up. No,arrogant is not the word here. When I say I'll wait for the right time to tell you something, it simply means I haven't exactly put the trust in you. I'm sorry. Deja vu! Give me some time before I'm able to tell you things I normally keep to myself. |
||
|
Title: Fly. Posted on: Sunday, December 19, 2010 |
||
|
I thought I'll be gone for long,but a strong force was pulling me back. It's called addiction! So where was I? Oh yes, photo editing and CS! :D
|
||
|
Title: Freeze. Posted on: |
||
I'm back from wherever I was suppose to be,the past few days. I'm going off again. |
||
|
Title: Double. Posted on: Saturday, December 18, 2010 |
||
|
A little less worry. A little more enthusiasm. Crazy life that we're all trying to juggle. So it's inherited. Everything that I can do,all the ability,they're inherited from dad. Every single one of it? I wonder. Is there no limit to what one is capable of? English way of putting it: Psychic! You can see it as a gift too. Predict the future - that's nothing to be proud of. Seriously. It's scary,sometimes. And the worst part is that you can't exactly anticipate it. I wish I can say "It's just a dream". I don't really care if people don't believe in such thing. It's nothing to boast about,really. We are all humans afterall. |
||
|
Title: End. Posted on: Friday, December 17, 2010 |
||
|
Finally! Finally,common tests are over for the year. Finally,I get my well deserve treat to Haagen Dazs. Finally,we met up. I was too tired to blog yesterday. I was too tired to even turn on my laptop. I was out the whole day. Moved around so much that my leg's hurting again. Yesterday morning began with Organic Chemistry paper,which started at 9am and ended at 10am. Following that was a trip to Wendy's@Lau Pa Sat with Hazirah,Lin Hui,Aini and Hidayah for lunch. We had totally good laugh that afternoon. After lunch,we headed for Boat Quay where our photo shoot turn horribly wrong. Sort of. We ended up fooling around and just had fun. Soon after that,I met up with MATAHARI. It was definitely awkward,at first,but it got better. We went to Esplanade to shoot some pictures and I became his model. -.- I'm not really fond of being in pictures. Anyway,yesterday while my friends and I were at Wendy's,we had a big shock. The lunch crowd there was hilarious! Seriously! Even at fastfood restaurants,people do reserve tables by placing packets of tissue paper. This is isn't the regular people we're talking about. These are people who work at CBD area,where they are considered 'high class' people with good etiquette. I guess not! Apparently,they act like typical aunties at some coffeeshop who would reserve seats with packets of tissue paper. One person was very innovative too. Since he didn't have a packet of tissue,he removed his iPhone silicon casing and used it as a substitute. OMG! It was an unforgettable experience! I thought such thing would only happen at coffeeshops. Christmas craze. New Year craze. Shop,shop and shop summore! I had to accompany mum this morning to go shop for the kiddo's school stuff,like school shoes,stationery, bag and water bottle. Then,we went to shop for Christmas gifts for the little cousins. Went back and forth,between Tampines Mall and Tampines 1. We walked so much that my legs felt like it was going to die on me,especially after spending the whole day around town yesterday. At this rate,my leg will take forever to recover. Urgh! Oh,Syazana had to make a new spectacle,and it cost $350. A five year old kid wears a $350 spectacle. Even Ray Ban cost way lesser than that. Gosh! I'm starting on my new year's resolution. Yesterday,as I stood at the roof terrace and looking down,I began thinking. I thought about what it'll be like if I had actually decided to leave Singapore. Then,there was blown up balls with writings on them,floating just outside Esplanade. It reminded me about my past. Back then,bestie bought many boxes of pingpong balls. He told me to write all that I wanted to achieve on the balls,as part of my new year's resolution. I remembered perfectly that I had written on 38 balls. Each time I achieve my goal,he'll let the ball float out at sea. I only managed to let go of 10. In the midst of achieving my 11th goal,he passed away and I never continued with the list. Letting go is hard,but I know life we'll be easier then. Sorry if I didn't want to share with you about what what was in my mind. It's just that I'm trying to let it go. |
||
|
Title: Break. Posted on: Wednesday, December 15, 2010 |
||
|
If you ever love somebody put your hands up!~ Ah,Microbio was rather fine. It definitely had way more hope than INS paper. Quite confident with my answers although I know I made a silly mistake. Stupid me! Well, that leaves me with one more paper to go. Tomorrow will be Organic Chem. Then it'll be my break! Sweet!~ Expecting a little more life to my life. I'll be heading up to JB with the family and nenek for a Seafood Dinner at Senibong. Photo expedition,maybe? Sunday's plan has yet to be confirmed. Thought of heading to town in the evening with the younger bro. We'll see. I wish I can say "it was just a dream". Really. I wish I could say that. No matter how much I try to convince myself that it'll all change along the way,the feelings just made me confuse even more. A great fear of disappointment is my true weakness. What else can I do about it? |
||
|
Title: Back. Posted on: Tuesday, December 14, 2010 |
||
|
Firstly, FCUK INS!! It was a sure-die paper. Screw that. It's time to move on with MicroBio and Organic Chem Paper. Nothing else I can do about today's awesome paper. I wouldn't be surprise if I fail. It'll prolly be my first failed paper for the year. Great! Anyway today,the sun shone brightly. It made me smile. First thing that came to my mind was you. :) Funny how I felt like an idiot smiling to myself as I made my way to the lecture theatre. Then,as I was walking pass the printing shop at the Engineering Block, someone else came to my mind. Mr 'Stunning looks and awesome smile'. It's been awhile since I last saw him and his smile. Currently in the process of baking the Christmas cookies. Multitasking much! |
||
|
Title: Second. Posted on: Monday, December 13, 2010 |
||
|
Overwhelmed! Not by the stress nor work load. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of love my friends have given lately. I feel guilty for not being able to spend more time with them. I'm juggling so many things at the moment. My dear Kecohrables came together today to surprise me with a gift I'd definitely cherish. They bought me a black Brixton Fedora. Though it's a little loose,given the fact that it's size M,I still love it very much. I'm still wondering why the sudden thought of getting me a gift? My birthday is 2 months away,and it's not like you guys didn't get me anything the previous birthday. Afie,Boy,Kamil, Hasif, Iqbal, Nana, Jen and not to forget my dear APIZ! Thank you so very much! I miss you awesome people. I know it's going to be hard to meet up like this again. Dearest APIZ will be moving away to US very soon. Everyone else is busy with NS,work and preparing to get married. I've got a long way to go before I finish with my studies. Oh well! Adik rindu semua! INS paper in 9.5hours. Sleep and eat INS for now. Crap! Biarku lihat setiap kali MATAHARI ku.. It's still playing in my head. The dream's not haunting me anymore. But every time I thought of you,I'll recall the dream. If I were to write a book,there'll be a chapter filled with all the thoughts that's been lingering in my head. My brain's like a wonderland! Thursday's plan. Organic Chemistry paper form 9-10am, followed by a trip down to Tanah Merah with TLC for a photoshoot. Nazurah will be meeting us there. Then,Nazurah and I will be heading off for lunch and do some catching up. I wanted to ask if you wanted to join us,but... nevermind. You'll prolly be busy. Another time then. |
||
|
Title: Beyond. Posted on: |
||
|
One down,three more to go! Previous post removed. Yesterday was plain tiring,but with much pleasure. Worked with Naqiah, Nabilah, Hadidi!!, Syafie, Izzat, Kak Lina and Abang Fad. As usual, customers made small things a big deal. Meeting with the supervisor was great. Nothing much to elaborate. The countdown begins.. |
||
|
Title: Part 2. Posted on: Saturday, December 11, 2010 |
||
|
Well,a pretty productive day I must say. A little get-together with some of my friends,under the block. Studying with them with the music blasting and notes flying all across the table. It brought back memories. It was exactly how we were back then,while we were studying/mugging hard for O levels. Bottles of F&N going around. Bags of chips shifting around. Arguments heard every 15 minutes. Ah,I miss those days.Apparently,our modules do overlap. Only some of it. Because I seem to miss your sudden appearance. Because the smile always made my day. A million more reason,I could tell you,but I know you'll never hear. Funny how I can't remember how we began a conversation together. Ok. A sudden realisation. I don't feel anymore sharp pain when I run or jump or kick. I don't feel as much pain when I touch the torn area. All the symptoms are going away. Awesome! One thing I'm still worried about now is my fitness. My stamina is like crap! Make me run 2.4km,and I might even surrender right before the half mark. The power for my left leg is not there too. Once common test is over, I'll make my way back up. It should take me atleast a whole month to get back into tiptop form. I'll go for my daily runs,for sure. Circuit training on alternate days. That's a hell of a plan for a comeback! I hope such intensity wouldn't further strain my muscles. Photoshoot with TLC on Thursday. Can't wait! Mean time,I've got a job for a corporate event coming up. It's been awhile since I did freelance photography. |
||
|
Title: Drag. Posted on: |
||
|
Nothing much to say or talk about. Mind's filled with notes,notes and more notes. Common test in 2 days. Break,please come sooner! Confession #18 by (Ishallnotputyourname): I miss you like crazy. Sometimes I feel like msging you,but I feel like I'm a big ass to do so. I realy do hope you'll have a nice life ahead. |
||
|
Title: Score. Posted on: Friday, December 10, 2010 |
||
|
Countdown to the end of Sem 2 Common test. I'm tired. Fatigue strikes again. On-Off fever accompanied by flu and a horrible sore throat. All at the wrong time. Leg's still not fully recovered. What more can I ask for right now? Maybe a comforting hug and a little cuddling would be nice. The weather hasn't been nice to me. However, appetite hasn't at all been affected. Hungry,almost all the time. Ah,texted me at midnight,as I was on my way to lalaland. Aww,so sweet. I had to sleep. It was a tiring day and I had nothing productive to do,or atleast I tried to. Sorry. My brain raised a white flag yesterday as I was well about to start on another module. So that leaves me with 2 days left to study - today and tomorrow. I'll be working on Sunday. I suppose I can bring my dear notes along,and as much as possible try to absorb as much. Looking forward to a long day working with Wanie and the rest of the Ikea Gang. My two weeks break will start on the 17th December. Do make an appointment with me or book me in advance 'cause my schedule is going to be very packed. TYVM! :D |
||
|
Title: Derived. Posted on: Thursday, December 9, 2010 |
||
|
2 pathetic hours of school today. Pathology lecture with AK. As expected,half the class was absent. Honestly,I felt like giving it a miss too but decided to go since abang offered to drive me to school. A nice long drive with abang, from home to aunt's house at Queensway to school. I didn't see Boy at school like I always do on Thursdays. Come to think of it,I haven't seen him for a week now. Oh well. Common test in a week and I'm studying in moderation. I'm definitely not going for the extreme. I've never did,actually. Content wise,I think INS is a potential killer. So much crap to remember. Anyway,the kiddos are going to Jurong Bird Park tomorrow with mum and their school. They're pretty much excited. Mum bought chips and biscuits for them. She wanted to bring a camera so DSLR was the only option since the old camera didn't have any battery in them. Had to teach her to use the DSLR,even though it was set to auto. Hope she takes good care of my baby. Orchard Cineleisure,anyone? I want to visit ROCKSTAR to get my Brixton hat. I'll probably drop by next week,with Nazurah maybe. A little change of environment too. MATAHARI,meet up soon? Eh,I wanna get the DSLR lomo converter thingy. |
||
|
Title: Skid. Posted on: Wednesday, December 8, 2010 |
||
|
Woah! Talk about the future. A little chat with dad was all it took to get me thinking again. What do I want to do? What do I want to have? Who'll be supporting me? He asked, "Do you have a boyfriend already?" HAH! That was a total shock,I must say. "No. Why?" was my reply. He went on to talk about planning my future,indicating that I was old enough to do so myself - having to choose the right guy who would be able to support me and the so-called "family" I'm going to have. "Your job and income is crucial!" is what I kept hearing. I never imagine me having this talk with my parents. Well, atleast not this soon. I've yet to graduate from poly. I've yet to finish studying. I suppose they just want me to plan ahead so I can work towards it,instead of having vague goals I wish I could achieve. A dream house, a pretty grand car, a warm family and a stable income. Wow! So,what's your plan for the future? Right now,I'm pretty tight on time. Desperately cramping my brains with my school notes. I know,I know. It's only common test right? Wrong! Have you seen the amount of content I have to fit into my head just for an hour paper each? Oh well,that's school! It'll do me good,afterall. Let's see what this little monster's been eating today. LOL! Breakfast was a bowl of cereals before leaving for school. As soon as I reached school,I grabbed a tuna sandwich and a cup of bandung before heading for BioChem practical. After the practical,I had Fillet-O-Fish meal upsized (iced milo) and a chocolate sundae to go with it. On the way home,I grabbed QiJi's laksa at Century Square. An hour later (dinner),decided to eat rice with stuffed fish that my dad had cooked. After dinner,while studying,I got hungry again. Since my mum was on the way home,I called her to grab something nice for me to munch on while I studied. She got me donuts! I ate 3 donuts,and while I'm typing this I feel like eating a sandwich. Something's definitely wrong with my appetite huh? :D At this moment,MATAHARI's watching a movie. Karate Kid,if I'm not mistaken. Ah! Stamina's like crap right now. This is the result of not having to train. This is the result of an injury. As soon as the doctor gives me the green light,which I'm praying hard that it's soon,I'll work hard into getting back into shape. Skip,Run,Gym. You name it,I'll do it. I think. I hope. I definitely have to pay a visit to my Muay Thai gym. Coach has been very worried about my condition. No worries coach,I've got a good looking nurse that'll make sure I recover. |
||
|
Title: Feel. Posted on: Tuesday, December 7, 2010 |
||
|
I guess a brief moment of relieve was what I felt last night. It sort of cleared the air. It did loosen the weight that's been tying me down. For a second there,I thought it'll affect everything we had right now,but it didn't. I like it this way. Nothing was affected and just letting time tell. Honestly,I'm pretty thankful that we didn't had our usual webcam session and that the internet connection was really bad yesterday. It was as though God was telling me to "Just let it out already!". HAHAHA! Even then,there was much hesitation. Okay,there's nothing much to do at the moment. School starts at 3pm today. We're just going to spend 2 pathetic hours torturing ourselves with INS lecture,the most boring lecture with the most annoying lecturer to accompany. Basically,the day is pretty dull. The only thing I can smile about today is my amazing appetite despite me being sick. That's not a surprise,I bet. I had 3 Ham&Cheese sandwiches with a tall glass of orange juice,and yet I'm still hungry! Since Mum didn't cook for me lunch before going to work,I'll have to go buy lunch before heading for school. I'm contemplating between BK or KFC. I know it's a little unhealthy for me to consume these food while I'm sick,but it's been awhile since I had them. Fever and flu didn't affect my appetite at all. Prangai monster,I know! :D |
||
|
Title: Post. Posted on: Monday, December 6, 2010 |
||
|
WARNING: Today's post is going to be extremely long. I think. To start off this post,I'm going to list down 10 random facts about me with some elaborations,as requested by my dear friend Mira. Although I've listed 30 on a note on Facebook,I will still fulfill her request here. 1. I love food! I love to eat! I get hungry so easily. Even after having a heavy lunch/dinner,I'll end up wanting to eat somemore. If I'm still awake in the middle of the night,even in the wee hours,I'll start craving for food and go hunting in the kitchen for something to fill my stomach. Many people who knows me would know this fact. 2. I have many habits which some people consider annoying,cute and/or weird. Who doesn't have habit,right? I'll list down a few. - I like to say my sentence halfway through and then decide not to continue. When I type,I don't really use my pinky finger,and it'll sort of point away from the keyboard,like when princess hold their cup of tea. 3. I don't like to talk on the phone,especially for long hours. I hate it when we have awkward silence,and when I feel like I sound funny over the phone. 4. I think I'm quite paranoid,sometimes. LOL! I can't seem to elaborate on this point. 5. I have a list of words that i use so often. "Awesome!","Nothing!", "Takde pape lah!", "Anything", "Aites", and many more. 6.I love to watch the sunrise and sunset. They're nature's beauty. 7. I am sometimes known as Ms "Been-there-done-that". Most of the time,when people ask me something like "Eh,have you been to this place?" or "Eh,have you gone to this place?", my answer would be YES! 8. I love the colour orange. My iTouch casing is orange. My headphone is orange. I used to have an orange watch. 9. People always mistaken me for a chinese. ALWAYS! 10. I love to cook,apart from the super active lifestyle I'm living. I cook mostly western food and mediterranean food. I guess I inherited it from my dad! There you go,Mira. Hope you enjoy my ramblings! Moving on. Christmas is drawing near. As most Americans would put it,eve of Christmas is a supposed to be a Magical night. I may not believe in it,nor do my religion,but it's the season to be jolly! For the past years,I've celebrated Christmas with my loved ones - family,friends and even my boyfriend(ex). This year,I think there's going to be a change. My family is planning to have our annual Christmas dinner on Christmas itself,unlike every other year where we had it on the eve. This is due to the fact that my dad has to work on Christmas eve. As for my friends,they'll be off for a holiday.Yes,most of them. I've yet to decide what I'll be doing on the eve. Should I head for town or should I stay home? Oh well. I can relate my emotions/situation with songs I hear. Don't you? Like right now,I'm in a state of confusion and a particular song that is able to speak my mind is "Please don't let me go" by Olly Murs. I've officially fallen in love with this song. The song totally expresses my feelings that I'm keeping. Yes,I have to admit that I'm rather secretive. I'm afraid to tell the person what I'm feeling right now and what is running through my mind for the past few days/weeks. I'm afraid of what that person might say or react to it. Reason being,I think I've hurt the person's feelings before. I don't know. I'm confuse. Fear is taking control of my emotions. Well, maybe one day the person would find out and save me from falling into pieces by saying it. Fear. Where do I begin?Should I tell you how bad I need you now? You're underneath my skin but I'm confused.My head is spinning all around.I waited so long. And that decision I've told you I've made? Well,I've decided to go with the flow. I'm not going to try to prevent it or what so ever. Like you've said countless of times,"Up to you". Yes,it's up to me right? Let's just see what will happen. As much as I want my dreams to stay as dreams for most occasions,I'd like this particular one to surprise me. I have to admit that I'm quite shock,having seen part of what could eventually be reality. Never had I once thought of it. Now,it keeps replaying in my head like it's haunting me. I'm not saying it's a bad thing,but it's like something I should anticipate. Oh well! Dear Allah,only you know how I'm feeling deep down. Maybe it's not the right time yet. I'm not sure about his feelings for me. Maybe it's best if I just keep things as they are now. I don't have the guts to tell anyone what I'm feeling right now. |
||
|
Title: Hut. Posted on: Sunday, December 5, 2010 |
||
|
Ok. A not so good Sunday. It may be quite productive,but it wasn't at all awesome,maybe only the part where Abang Iwan came over to exchange stories with. We took a walk to Sungai Api-Api and chatted for a little while. We had so much to catch up on. Apparently, he thinks I'm attached. What a joke! Joke of the day: "Abang wan ingat adik attached. Boleh tolong plan grand wedding!" Siow! Even if I was attached,getting married will never be in my thoughts for now. Gila punye orang! -.- So,like any other nights,right now I'm chatting and webcam-ing (if there's such thing lah) with MATAHARI. Oh,I've completed my French written assignment and sort of studied for pharmaceutics test. I don't care if I flung my french,seriously,'cause it's not included in our GPA and it's freaking difficult to adapt to it's language within a short period of time.It's hurting my brains. haha! Just remembered my ex used to call me SUMMER. Aww.. I can't wait for common test to end,'cause there are many things I want to do,like watching movies,going around Singapore and just plain relax for a little bit. Anyone care to join me? Have to start making plans and people,do book me in advance. Thanks! hee! :D |
||
|
Title: Ages. Posted on: Saturday, December 4, 2010 |
||
|
Work was extremely tiring today. Customers making a fuss out of little things. Making complains and emailing them to our Supervisor over stupid things. "Mak bapak korangnye company ke pe?" Idiotic people! Today,I had to become the floater. I had to hold $5000,alone! Moving counter to counter for every hour. I had to keep going up and down from restaurant to cash office. Then,I had to do stock count in the storeroom for Angeline. My leg hurt so bad that I had to limp my way around. Gosh! Thank God there was Wanie,Naqiah,Nabilah,Izzat,Syafie,Hazel and Didi!! Chatting and having silly conversations with MATAHARI right now. It seems like it's becoming a nightly routine. Oh well. Keep waiting for the right time kay MATAHARI ^^. And don't ask me why I call you that. So,I am officially bikeless. Uncle managed to sell CINTA away at a good price. I'll find a replacement once I get my license,I think. Hope CINTA and his new owner would be happy,or atleast the owner would be happy enough to spend loads of money on it's maintenance. hahaha.CINTA gave alot of problem ever since we crashed at Jakarta. I spent alot of money trying to get it back in good form,but it wasn't enough. I had to let it go,anyway. |
||
|
Title: Tele. Posted on: Friday, December 3, 2010 |
||
|
The other day,I had a dream. You were in it. I was shocked. The dream made me confused,as soon as I woke up. I felt rather weird. It's like I was filled with mixed emotions. I couldn't understand my feelings. I wanted to tell you, but every time I tried,it seemed really awkward. The past and the next few days became even more awkward. I kept thinking of you,and it seems like the sense of care is starting to grow. Then that day, we had that awkward moment where questions were never asked, and the atmosphere turned rather cold. I wanted to tell you what was running through my mind at that moment,but I couldn't. There are many things I want to tell you,but I don't know where to start and don't know what would be the outcome. I guess I'm scared. Saying sorry was a good start,I suppose,but it stayed hanging. Maybe next I should say the many thanks I wished I had said earlier,especially for making me smile constantly. Just so you know,I feel like the atmosphere's getting colder. Ah,I've made my decision. I'm staying. I can list a thousand reasons why,but only one matters most. I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready to leave what I've rebuild,reopened and the people/things that I'm still holding on to. It's just so hard to part right now. I know it'll probably be my only chance,but if I work hard,I might even get a better offer. People say it's an opportunity of a life time,but I think there are many other opportunities out there. You just have to work for it. Oh yes. I wonder what it'll be like to finally meet up,like that will ever happen any time soon. |
||
|
Title: Travel. Posted on: Thursday, December 2, 2010 |
||
|
Right. Lost my mood. Frowns. Ah,I don't give a damn! Feeling extremely agitated. I felt rather low the whole day. Only reason to smile was that Pathology test was sort of a breeze. Going out for some fresh air. At this hour? Well,yes.
|
||
|
Title: Cold. Posted on: |
||
|
Pathology test was great! Extremely happy with my answers! Thanks for wishing me luck to the few even though it's not a major test. Really appreciated them. Up next,Pharmaceutics paper and French Oral test on Monday. Anyway,Nazurah came over to NYP today to study. Then we toured around the school and ran into several of my friends and a number of cute guys(according to Nazurah). It's my turn to go over to SP on any of my free days. Multitasking at this hour. 6 MSN conversations at one time,blogging,FB-ing and talking on the phone buddy(giving directions). Crazy day! Tired too. |
||
|
Title: Drag. Posted on: Wednesday, December 1, 2010 |
||
|
The head's/brain's definitely taking a beating. Cruelty kicks in. Stuffing my not-so-big brains with loads of things. Worries,school notes and more notes. Well,that's life. Brain's working overtime for the last and next few days,and probably weeks. Walks don't seem to work anymore. I'm not going to try the addiction again. Fresh air don't seem to be as fresh as before. I smell trouble no matter what. Anyway,I met up with Nazurah today. Like finally! Talked,talked,eat and talked some more. Catching up,I suppose. She's coming over to NYP to study tomorrow. I think. There's loads we have yet to share. There's loads of memories that were brought up. I'm not going to be bothered anymore,whether or not you respond to any of my sms or messages on FB. You want to be cold towards me? Two can play the same game,my friend. Don't blame me if one day you realise that I did have a point and you didn't respond to it. It takes 2 hands to clap,but looks like all the effort is only coming from me. Ikhlas,if you know what I mean. I truely apologise for whatever I may have done to you. It's up to you,whether or not you want to except it. It looks like you've definitely moved on with someone new,who apparently made you feel like I'm invinsible. A simple 'Hi' would be nice,you know. Oh well. Life must go on. The week's finally going to be over. There's Pathology test tomorrow,which I'm sort of prepared for and looking forward to it. Then there's skating with Hazmi,Ibnu and Haziq on Friday after school even though my leg is still not in good condition. Can't wait to meet the guys! Christmas in 24 days. Looking forward to Christmas dinner on the eve,or maybe we're having it on Christmas itself. We'll see,but whatever it is,there's going to be loads of food and awesome time! I'll definitely bake cookies like the past years. This year I'll bake one batch of Chocolate chip cookies and one batch of gingerbread cookies 'cause not everyone likes gingerbread cookies right? Cheers! |
||
| ← Older | back to top | Newer → |
| affiliates | archives | credits |
|
Digital Photography School
Farhan&Fiqah Photography
Hazirah
Lin Hui
Huril
Fhy!!
Faris
Nabilah
Wanie
|
Layout: Fangyi Icon: Fangyi Inspired by a book named Perchance To Dream by Lisa Mantchev. |